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On Wednesday night, Joel Embiid nearly made me miss an airplane. I watched his coming-out party from a hotel room in New York, where I had planned on falling asleep early before my cross-country flight the next morning. But how could you turn off … that? Embiid had decided to basketball-murder the Los Angeles Lakers. Like, all of them. Everyone on the team.

He overpowered them like Young Shaq. He Euro-stepped around them like a mutant James Harden. He drained 3s like Same-Age Porzingis. He rolled to the rim like Georgetown Ewing. He protected the rim like A Not As Young As We Probably Thought Dikembe. He pranced around in full command of the stage; you almost expected him to grab a microphone and sing Marvin Gaye songs during the timeouts. And just when we thought the night had peaked, Embiid unveiled a Hakeem-McHale quadruple-pivot drop step that twisted poor Julius Randle into a helpless pretzel—nobody has executed a low-post move that complicated in 20 years. I know you’ve seen it. Watch it again.

I devoured every second, forgot to set my alarm and barely made my flight. Whatever. Embiid finished with 46-15-7-7, filmed a brief Fantasy Island remake with Kevin Hart during his postgame interview and left NBA Twitter looking like the airport at the end of Fast & Furious 6. We haven’t seen such an unexpectedly thrilling NBA regular-season performance since … I mean … I don’t even know:

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