By Theodore N. Beitchman

If you weren’t listening to 94 WIP last Friday afternoon between approximately 2:02 p. m. and 6 p.m., you ought to thank your lucky stars.

I was listening, and I was riveted as if I were driving on the turnpike, saw a 90-car accident and couldn’t stop looking.

Lucky for me, I have never had a nervous breakdown or seen or listened to someone literally melting down, but this is what I imagine it must be like:

Someone named Josh Innes on an unexpurgated rant that makes Donald Trump seem sane and level-headed.

Innes is an angry asshole whom the dopes at WIP have foisted upon us, evidently for the sin of fleeing to 97.5 the Fanatic.

All we want is someone of average intelligence speaking rationally and insightfully about sports.

We don’t care what Innes thinks about other sports talk jocks, especially Mike Missanelli, who is on opposite him on the Fanatic.

We don’t care what he did in Houston, a backwater if ever there was one. We do care that Innes just rants before he thinks. That’s why we have left.

Tony Bruno couldn’t take it anymore.

So the Philly sports talk lifer retired rather than have to work with this imbecile any longer.

Innes evidently won the spring ratings book, and he is very proud of that.

Let’s see what happens come September, when millions more people will be listening to what he says about the Eagles.

He better come up with more than the conventional wisdom:

Why did we let Shady McCoy go?

Is Chip Kelly really up to the job?

Sam Bradford better be healthy.

Any fool can say that.

The difference is that when any fool says those things, it doesn’t feel like a root canal without drugs.

Innes won’t last in Philly. He’ll return to another backwater in which his shit passes for introspection.

Good riddance, in advance.

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