By Michael Donovan

I thought I had heard all the rumors about Eagles coach Chip Kelly, who has been the butt of speculation about his real intention, which the Philly lame-ass media says, is to go back to college coaching.

And yes, yesterday on Comcast SportsNet in Washington, D. C., there was this dialogue between people who I am assuming are paid to have opinions:

Kelly quitting the NFL for a job coaching Maryland, one of the worst teams in the Big 10:

Check it out:

“I’ll give you a scenario. It’s not going to happen, but [Under Armour CEO] Kevin Plank says to Chip Kelly, ‘I will give you part of the company if you come take over my program [at Maryland]. I have the most listless head coach right now. We can’t score a point. Just not even that far of a drive. Just drive down I-95, whatever it is. I know [ESPN anchor and Maryland alumnus] Scott Van Pelt will endorse it.’

“That would be, again, the downsides with that — and I don’t think this part would scare Chip Kelly — the Maryland job is a tough job. It’s got some good resources around it, you’re in an area where there’s some recruits.

“The problem is, you’re probably the fifth-best football school in the division you’re in. Both Michigan schools, clearly Ohio State, you know, Penn State. Even Penn State coming out of the sanctions it’s still, you know, Maryland’s five in there.”

“[Big Ten commissioner] Jim Delany would be thrilled,” Mandel interjected.

“Oh, I think that would be great,” Feldman replied. “You put him in that division with Urban Meyer, Mark Dantonio, Jim Harbaugh, and James Franklin? That would trump anything the SEC could do. Now, look, that’s a long shot happening. I heard it. I just conjured it up in the last 10 minutes.”

Mandel threw out other scenarios: USC, Texas, and Notre Dame.

“All I was throwing out was if Kevin Plank decided, hey, I’m going to give you $10 million a year. It’s not my money,” Feldman said. “It’s Kevin’s, so it’s OK.”

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