When you win the No. 1 pick in the draft, you’re supposed to be a rusty squid boat on the bottom of basketball’s ocean floor—not four victories away from the Finals.
But thanks to some brilliant dealing by Celtics boss Danny Ainge, and some wondrous ineptitude from the Brooklyn Nets—who gifted their future to Boston in exchange for the shuffleboard vapors of Celtics geezers Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett (and throw-in Jason Terry)—the Celtics have gotten fat on a stash of picks that shouldn’t be theirs. That No. 1 slot Tuesday was earned by the Nets, who were indeed a rusty squid boat at the bottom of the NBA this season, but instead dopily bequeathed first-round picks or “pick swaps” to Boston in 2014, 2016, 17 and 18: