By Theodore N. Beitchman

So now the lame-ass local media are pissed off at Sixers big boss Bryan Colangelo for “botching” the Markelle Fultz injury.

Just as they were pissed off that Fultz didn’t seem to be able to lift his arm above his shoulder because of an alleged injury.

And, as usual, no one has been more offended than Philly ex-pat John Gonzalez, who somehow has tricked Bill Simmons into letting him type for the Ringer.com — based on what exactly?

Fultz’ free throw shooting was a “crime against basketball,” is how Gonzo described it.

Really?

The only crime is that someone like Gonzalez with the lack of requisite observational skills and Sixers hatred is allowed to write for an otherwise fine site.

And, by the way, does Gonzo even know that Hunter S. Thompson, who made up half the quotes he used in Rolling Stone, called what he did Gonzo Journalism?

Guess not.

And I know we are in the business oif instant analysis, but I have a message to the goofballs who blog for Crossing Broad and NJ.com and the 700 Club/Level:

Back the hell off of Markelle Fultz.

Who is 19 years old.

And whose absence over the weekend in Texas somehow didn’t keep the Sixers from beating the Mavs and Rockets.

Because these 3-4 Sixers are deep enough to miss Fultz and vet JJ Redick and not miss a beat.

Fultz is is still growing physically.

Every ding he endures is not a cause for concern.

Michael Barkann, who demonstrates with each passing day that he knows less than nothing about sports, is still talking about an ankle Fultz turned in July during the Summer League.

In July!

Yes, he has a shoulder injury, and yes, perhaps the Sixers would have started the season with Fultz resting so he could heal properly.

And, if he had, the dumb-asses in the local media would have pulled out the chestnuts about screwing up a No. 1 pick again.

Dopey Angelo Cataldi has already written that.

Instant analysis is one thing.

Ridiculously jumping to stupid conclusions is quite another.

This isn’t Watergate and you guys aren’t Woodward and Bernstein.

More like Jekyll and Hyde.