Your quarterback: Dakota Boy. This guy and his fucking hunting trips.

I’ve really, truly had enough. We get it, kid. You like to hunt. You’re a COUNTRY BOY OOOOOOOH. Congrats on being every baseball player ever. If there were such a thing as karma, one of Carson Wentz’s own linemen would have accidentally blasted his foot off. It’s like someone took the worst parts of JJ Watt and made a QB out of it. Meanwhile, Wentz’s game log from last season read like someone charted declining literacy rates in Bridesburg. He was the Second Coming for three games and then proceeded to suck. If he were black, people would have said they finally got tape on him. But because he’s white and hunts, he’ll get another 15 years to prove himself. Bible-humping jackass.

Backing up Wentz is whatever’s left of Nick Foles’s confidence:

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-philadelphia-eagles-1797746673